A Compilation of Disasters
I've outgrown subtitles
I am doubling down on things you did not like the first time around.
Here is a compilation of Notes I intended as jokes. They all failed. I want to combine them all together so you can see the humor I am going for, at least. Also, I thought it might be funnier to see it all together, but I apologize in advance for the probable failure of this compilation that you are about to read.
I clicked on “view stats” for my last story and I was met with a troubling response.
The words “YEAH RIGHT!” appeared written in big bold font, atop an image of a hand with the middle finger raised.
I think there are easier ways to communicate that something is not performing well, Substack.
Good grief.
I think it would be helpful if I, as a writer, could subscribe to readers.
Edit: This was a joke.
I wonder if anyone else sees tumbleweeds pass by when they post on Substack.
I remember being a wide-eyed kid who dreamed of becoming a writer, thinking about Faulkner, Thoreau, Wordsworth, and……. Algorithms.
Maybe if I say Algorithm again more people will see my humorous Note. Algorithm.
My notes must emit a sound or scent that repels humans.
Inspired by “Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey”
Here is a new “Almost Thinking”
“My parents took me to see ‘Goldilocks and the Three Bears’ one time as a kid. As we crept in through the backdoor, I thought to myself: ‘this is not much like the book.’ Then I remembered I didn’t have parents and I belonged to a gang of porridge thieves.”
This will be brief.
Inspired by "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey"
It's an original "Almost Thinking."
“Wouldn’t it be great if trees could talk? I’m sure some of them might scream for the harm humans have done to the environment. But, I bet others would just be big jerks.”
And now for something completely different.
From “Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey”
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.”
The Joke Corner
Things that make you think:
From “Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey”
“Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.”
JOKE TIME:
History teachers often get strange answers:
“John Oswald shot Lincoln in a booth from the book suppository.”
JOKE TIME:
If you are a city-state when you enter the bathroom…
And you are an empire when you leave the bathroom…
What are you while in the bathroom?
Ur a nation.