A Story From the Year 3053

A funny and poignant take on the present and future

Created with help from Bing Creator

The League Finds Evidence of Both Ancient Intelligence and Depravity

by Zartran 64 of Hive 27, from the Barren Lands

Phase III, 16, 3053

Hello citizens, subjects, and members of the Robot Council. This report comes from the Department of Information and Historical Records.

Excavations continue in the Barren Lands near Quadrant 0017. As we know, there has been significant findings of ancient culture surprisingly well-preserved and centered around, as previously reported, buildings and statues of some significance. There has been verification of the existence of a god called “Abraham Lincoln” by the recovery of idol remnants of great size.

Most likely one of the chief deities of this religion, his likeness rested near buildings and halls we think housed a simplistic form of government. Some in the League of Superior Intelligence have been proven incorrect that ancient people had no religion, government, or brains capable of complex reasoning.

Mystery still remains about the usage and role of “Phones” that continue to be recovered in huge numbers. Some think these were tools of some kind used to dig, while others maintain these were activated somehow during religious ceremonies.

League scientists maintain that evidence suggests that primitives manipulated the Phones from time to time and that some power source was used in worship of something called “Internet.”

However, HareDoo 83, the controversial proponent of “Prehistoric Primals,” argues that ancients could not have possibly designed such a system of communication or worship.

He said, “Could Primals have visited Earth in some ancient epoch and given primitives this technology? The answer is yes. Phones seem to have intricate designs that we know our small-brained ancestors simply could not have accomplished.”

League experts disagree, however. “Here is more of that Prehistoric Primal nonsense. While they were not very advanced, some of us have reason to think that ancients communicated in short bursts of symbols that perhaps represented real words. This is still an educated guess, and it is unlikely we will ever know what the symbols mean.”

Another member of the League of Superior Intelligence continued the analysis of the latest findings. “We know that these beings lived before “The Great Heat” rearranged the living conditions on Earth. These folks could expect food to be grown without the use of Helios Impact Inhibitors that are commonplace in our time. Their brains had not developed Level 15 intelligence, so they were forced to live much like animals.”

All experts practically agree that whatever the reason for and source of Phones, they were the most important artifact of ancient lives.

This past year, scientists discovered the remains of juvenile primitives almost perfectly preserved in the Great Salt Lands. Of 83 fossils recovered, all 83 held some form of Phones either in their hands or very close by.

NeoMatrix 136, of the League, has a somewhat unpopular take on what we can conclude from the findings this year and last. He remarked, “These people were not very smart. As a Superior I am not supposed to say that, but what else can one say about our discoveries?”

Furthermore, he stated that “These folks were preoccupied with nonsense and missed the big picture. They seemed uninterested in communing with the animals and nature, as we do as a matter of living. Apparently, no one thought about using their mind powers to communicate over vast waters and lands—that we now take for granted. Whatever Phones were, I bet they were a waste of time and resources.”

Not all agree with NeoMatrix 136. However, as a spokesperson for the League said, via direct brain messaging, “I wish we could honestly say we found fewer Phones and more art.”

---

Thanks for reading. I usually write serious stories, but sometimes with a touch of humor. Please read more free stories and subscribe.