How Long Must We Suffer in Silence?
A new term for an old problem
Please tell me: When is enough, enough? When is it time to speak up? I hope you let me know in the comments, because I am not sure.
I am going to invent a phrase out of the blue today and use it many times. This is sometimes necessary.
Even though English is a fine language with lots of diversity, and despite that almost anything we think of has a word that corresponds to it, there are still some holes left in our experiences where no words seem quite right. After all, someone had to first suggest that “bringing home the bacon” meant someone who provides income or essential goods to a household. Likewise, some guy or lady language pioneer felt “you’re welcome” is a perfect way to respond to “thank you.”
By the way, this story is not about wordplay or some other “highly niched” topic interesting to only a few. You’re welcome.
I offer to you, dear reader, a phrase that will eventually blaze a trail across the world and become part of common jargon: “chewing the tripe.” Hopefully this will somehow bring fortune and fame to your author.
You probably sense that this term refers to a negative experience. You are correct. Tripe is one word for the guts of animals, and chitlins (pig guts) is another one that Southerners know very well.
Many folks like chitlins, but I do not. I even tried to like them due to my Southern heritage and pursuit of authenticity. It turns out that animal intestines taste exactly like animal intestines. The texture can be off-putting and tough, thus requiring lots of time in the mouth before the guts can be swallowed.
Chewing the tripe is related to “taking your medicine” and “biting your tongue.” Yet, the relationship is distant like third cousins you never meet. Again, there was a problem in approaching my topic with any point of view or idiom that represents what I intend. “Bidin’ my time?” Nah, not close enough.
Tripe-chewing is very common and frequent in every person’s life no matter the age or anything else. Perhaps the ultra-rich do not have to munch on animal innards as much as the rest of us.
I want to write about those moments or extended periods when we must suffer through a situation that is an affront to our sensibility. Therefore, what offends me might not be a problem for you, but I think mostly we all have the same complaints and bad experiences in common.
I mean those things that we must simply take with the awareness that no redress, revenge, reimbursement, or even a complaint form, will mitigate our frustrations. We cannot spit out the offensive taste. We just do the best we can and hold steady.
Still, there is always a choice that humans have. A person, instead of chewing the tripe, can open his or her mouth and hurl awful things at those reckoned to be the cause of the situation. Someone might lose their minds and start a fight or take any senseless and brutish course. But, most of us realize hostility will not ameliorate our bad day or make us feel the least bit better. Violence gets us nowhere. There is no hope even to cordially argue. We must chew and chew.
Last week prompted me to search for a new term and inspired me to begin thinking about this story, but I must tell you what happened as you do not know. Over three days or so, records were set for the most time wasted.
I brought my dog to what I found out was a very popular animal doctor. Nothing matters as much as the care given to my doggy. And even though they are very professional, this vet cares little for the waiting arrangements of those sitting with pets in-hand, or in-crates, or on a leash, or whatever.
There is a small, overcrowded room with people constantly cycling in and out various doors. It is hard to tell the employees from the very concerned clients. The smell is bad, but I guess that cannot be helped.
The chairs were not chairs and instead were cheap benches one might find at a decrepit bus stop or at a Big Lots. Very uncomfortable. Worst of all, I waited two hours for a two-minute medical consultation and then waited more the next day simply to take my best friend home.
I suffered silently through clenched teeth and an even worse-than-normal unpleasant look. The enticements toward letting my displeasure burst out began circling around my head at about the one-hour mark. Of course, I would do so calmly and rationally while explaining to someone that my time is not worthless.
I never did. I even smiled and said “thank you” when the ordeal was over. Why? For one, nothing is more important than the work done for my dog and keeping those doing it thinking happy thoughts about me.
Also, I realized this was a no-win, and more importantly a no-improvement-possible, situation. Nothing would speed up the process. Saying something would make some folks silently sneer at me in their heads and make some others secretly cheer my gumption. Many people were there and in the same predicament, after all.
Yet, some young lady kept calling out names that were not mine. She went outside and did the same. Here I sat, a person who is un-invisible, crossing my fingers that she announced my name instead. Why were people outside? Who were they? If they are customers like me, why are they given special treatment?
There was not much to do but bite down and chew. It made me realize how often we are forced to outlast some ridiculousness. It is the society we live in, where the guy who doesn’t take care of his dog, or himself, or anyone, is chosen before you based on some randomness made to look like order. We are all equally unimportant.
I wonder when it is allowable to blurt out, “This is not right, what is happening here?” Now I have moved beyond the vet experience and am posing this question about anything and everything. This is almost a daily occurrence.
Know what I mean? There is an issue I have, a worry, that applies to people like me who can suss out the wrongness about any person, project, or environment. Are you really going to order a hamburger at the Italian restaurant? How about this one— “Must we have another meeting about nothing?” Why don’t we use that time to go home and rest up or think about something creative that will improve the business/company/school/whatever, someone might interject.
I am sensitive about my discernment of what I think is good and bad, especially where artistic endeavors are concerned. To the young person, I want to teach them about how good music can be, and to anyone guilty, I desperately want to snatch the ketchup away from the guy or gal who ordered the steak. These are silly but represent a real question of when to intervene or at least speak up.
Chewing the tripe must be a fact of life, I reckon. But just because something is does not mean it should be or continue on, just to remind. What do you think, dear reader? How often are you forced to chew the tripe? How can we know when to stop doing so?
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I think Chewing Tripe is something you learn with time. I chew more tripe now than when I was younger. It’s really an art form. If you want to keep your sanity you learn to chew tripe. I remain silent (& chew tripe) if I know nothing can be done about a given situation. But if I see a definite wrong, and something must be done, I refuse to chew tripe. But then, that’s me.
amazing, I was just spitting out the tripe as I picked up your story. It's my day off, and I don't want to do anything just yet. My dog is up in the bed with me, and my wife is busy making a racket in the livingroom. So, I'm chewing it. You're so right we all go through it, caring more or knowing more than those idiots charged with actually carrying out the day to day stuff around us. It's maddening,and our expectations are that it will only get worse with time. Hang in there old buddy, we're all sick and tired of the incompetence we're surrounded by and lack of control we have "on the journey". Thanks for the observation.