LET IT BE

The importance of being over doing

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Let it Be

I am a music fan and coincidently listened to a cover of the Beatles “Across the Universe” and George Harrison’s original “My Sweet Lord.” I mean it was not planned and just happened as occurs when surfing the Internet. Together they point to a longing for the spiritual, especially Harrison’s song.

For those who do not dig old music, Harrison was the sincerest soul-searcher out of the four Beatles. This story was inspired by these songs but some other things I will leave out.

As human beings, should we aim to “do” or just “be?” This is the topic here. I will not fill this space with too much ethereal philosophy, I do not think. That is not what I prefer, anyway, but I do not plan stories out in detail before writing them.

With the Beatles now on my mind, I must mention that “Let it Be” is one of my favorite songs ever. This information seems appropriate. Also, the title indicates my answer to the question.

Without a doubt, we are born into and live in a society that prioritizes doing. It does not matter, much, where you are from. Though I am sure there are exceptions, most cultures emphasize beginning and successfully completing work of all kinds. Everything is work, by the way.

Even if a person walks a unique path, and values relationships more than professional accomplishments, there will be lots of doing. The best word to describe marriage is work instead of love, partnership, togetherness, or any other word that is related to these. Without doing the work, all the rest will fade away and the marriage will end. The same logic applies to all relationships.

Both well-meaning and thoughtless adults inquire about what a young person plans to do. This is true of children to at least that point when most are expected to enter college. Therefore, all of us are raised in environments where people never let us forget that some action is expected from us. We have to do something, and in my opinion this pressing concern on our minds can speed the growth of mental illness.

Expectations and Results

What I am about to say depends on where you live and your social class. People will ask a boy or his parents, maybe even before the child can walk, what sport he plans to dominate once old enough to participate. The answer is football. Always football.

Now, I realize this is not meant to harm and might only be an entryway to an uninteresting conversation. Yet, the cute questions turn into interrogations over time, especially if the boy has not done enough to provide evidence of his choice. He must do things to satisfy the older folks who can then feel assured what to expect. I assume females face a road that is different yet just as tough, but I cannot say for sure.

Everyone alive remembers report cards. They assess what a kid has been doing in school but not any of that kid’s emotional intelligence or socialization skills.

Civilized society is geared around expectations of results. I had major issues with doing anything recognized by the small community of my youth. Drawing and daydreaming was not enough for the doers who kept wondering about my choice of sport. Dear readers, you can imagine all types of scenarios that put children, who are not ready to be grilled as if felony suspects, in mind-spaces not conducive to growing up healthy.

I found my purpose. More importantly than that, I found that having a purpose was the purpose of life. This is very simple but is the most direct way I can explain to anyone reading how I cope and have achieved some enlightenment.

To bore you with my purpose is not super relevant right now, but I will say that a commandment of my purpose is that being comes first over doing. When I simply exist as myself, inhabiting this body and soul without a mask, more good things occur than bad things.

A Life in Crisis

There was a mental breakdown a few years ago, and I only care to share a little about the people and events of this story. It is still hard to discuss, but I am doing so in different places other than this one.

For a short period, I stayed at a mental hospital, and then for quite a while lived at what we might call a mental health halfway-house. It was very restrictive in most ways, but the people there took every step to make it feel more like a home.

Life was for doing instead of being, and this is a simplistic explanation of the negative patterns of thinking that led to a mental health disaster. This was the basic premise that defined every pursuit and response of my life. Doing means there are tasks with results, and human beings naturally focus on the outcomes while grading themselves. Goals fall into this general approach to life that most people are bequeathed and remain loyal to for all their days.

There was not much that I believed I could accomplish. As a young person, I did not understand directions and was terrified daily of making mistakes.

One form of cruelty is a person who has decided that no goal, large or small, can end with some type of positivity and/or happiness. To describe this, I sometimes say, “there was nothing for me in this world.” Therefore, I chose to reside in the imaginary world that I filled with stories, characters, and colors. It was safe.

That was never enough for me and will not be for anyone else. Eventually, your mind will turn inward on itself and begin to disassociate from your body, and then any person at this stage cannot function. This is close enough to the truth of my existence for a long time.

Trust the “Process”

I never played football which meant I was like half of a person. Yet, I want to turn to the sport right now in order to illustrate the benefits of being over doing.

The greatest coach of all time just might agree with all I am saying. Nick Saban and his Alabama football teams dominated the college game. He is enormously wealthy and followed by millions, and yes, millions of people probably hated him and his teams, as well.

To narrow it down to its essence, Saban’s philosophy was “trust the process” and never focus on results. He said this over and over. By urging his players to ignore the outcomes, his teams accomplished more than any program over a similar number of years. In my mind, trust the process is the same as “be, do not do.” You might disagree, dear reader. That is fine.

As a whole, Western Civilization determines the worth of someone by rankings, and that can only be done by assessing the “doings” of an individual. In sports there are official rankings, but we know that unofficial ones matter all the time, everywhere.

This is not all bad in every case. It makes sense in many ways. However, if you have ever felt less-than due to an unfair judgement of what you have not done, then you realize the issues involved with this mindset. Lazy people invented and continue to sustain rankings as the method to evaluate others. It is easier to label and condescend than to get to know another human on the soul-level.

Women without children must answer what went wrong. Men too, but it is not as severe with males. A woman will be classed below her peers with families when it comes to most things. Dear reader, you know my statement here is accurate regardless of what people had rather believe.

Someone created this formula that having children is proof of caring about children and family. This is not correct.

In many areas of life, tangible entries on a resume count more than character. In fact, a person’s inherent goodness or badness may not matter at all, as long as the quotas of success are met. Yes, I consider character as being more than doing.

Be first and doing will follow

This one has been asked millions of times: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” We have also heard slight variations that basically mean the same thing.

Here, notice how being is substituted for doing. Or, as more representative of society and what we intend, being is only acknowledged as meaningful when it pertains to a person’s occupation. So, the line of inquiry about what someone wants “to be” actually proposes the argument that people are defined most of all by a job.

The majority of people would rightfully protest this conclusion.

Doing is intimidating. People get afraid, have anxiety, and develop self-esteem issues when faced with overwhelming tasks.

You are also right, dear reader, to note that being and doing bleed into one another. That sounds right, but if you have been following my words thus far you grasp the basic differences. I hope this is true.

Another way to frame my topic is to ask which of the two options produces more of the opposite. Does being lead to greater deeds than doing, or does doing allow for a higher state of being?

If that sounds like a bunch of gobbledygook, I hope the next few sentences clarify the idea. In my opinion, the goal of life is to be, and from that will flow most of the results a person hopes to achieve. Saban agrees with me, I still believe.

Therefore, if you want to be all you can be, then focus on who you are, your values, and the consistency of existing in harmony with those values. Living with this philosophy increases the chances of one’s life turning toward a reflection of his or her soul. The opportunities to get what you want will increase, and there will be fewer instances where one attracts the kind of ideas and people that are unwanted.

So, we are meant to be instead of do.

Most material or immaterial prizes leave a person feeling empty sooner or later. How many times have we heard life is about the journey and not the destination?

I hope this makes sense to someone out there and can be utilized for better mental health.

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