Letters From the Storm: A Revealing and Passionate Look Inside the Mind of a Celebrity Weather-Woman
A forty-percent chance of laughter
I actually dated a weatherwoman for a little while. Our courtship was surprisingly intense and heated, but our relationship lowered to average and calm by the end of the month. I decided to capitalize on the situation for my personal gain.
Here is a selection of love letters I received chosen for public consumption, and they will show both the highs and lows of our short bond. My memory is foggy but should clear up by the end of this story.
Dearest W.K.,
I think it is strange that you will not make eye-contact with me, but I know about your condition, of course. No matter, I do not regret getting matching tattoos. It’s because I am confident there are sunny days ahead with a possibility of three this week, and maybe even four the next.
Truthfully, I have had you on my radar for a long time. There is a cloud of darkness over your soul that is intriguing…and I cannot help but being attracted to such a pale yet roaring stallion of manhood. Is that how you wanted me to say it? I can’t read your handwriting, honey.
Back to you,
Your Weather-Wonder-Woman
Sweet W.K.,
I left the one door unlocked for you, so you can be waiting when I arrive home from work. I forecast it will be a great weekend ahead. The following entrances will be closed this Friday afternoon: the garage door, the gate at the end of the walk, the front door, the side door, and the basement door.
Watch for flying debris. The neighbors are working on their driveway, as you know.
See you again at 5,
Your Weather Enchantress
W.K.,
Even though I predicted bright skies for our future, our love has turned unusually cold. I cannot break through the icy conditions of your heart. Be advised, the roadways are slippery out there and you may never find the path to true happiness. You carry around too much baggage — almost like a heavy winter coat. You are a storm of emotions, and it is too much for me. You never know, trouble can come from the east, from the west, or even from a northern-ly direction. I do not know what will happen in advance.
Don’t close your heart up like some underground shelter. I am issuing you a warning not to miss out on love, or maybe just keep a watch out for it…no one really knows.
That’s how I feel in my neck of the woods,
The Weather Siren
Back to me for the latest update. First, you are welcome. It is not everyday that average folks can read about the glamorous goings-on of the somewhat rich and locally famous. Oh, I do not mean me, I am talking about her. In the end, I have to say her personality was frosty, and toward yours truly, she was especially chilly in the morning. Furthermore, what she said rarely came true. Well, it was kind of half-way accurate but just left me wondering why I believed her in the first place. Starting the day, I could not be real confident how it would go.