Optimism is Hard

Pessimism is the key to positive thinking

Until recent years, my mind operated via self-defeating assumptions we can call pessimism. More than this, pessimism was something of the thesis of my life. It was a guiding sentiment that left fingerprints on all I thought and attempted to do.

By thesis, I mean that thinking negatively was my best argument explaining the motivations and actions of other people and all the outcomes that result. 

Best does not mean good here, as I use that word in terms of what was most plausible. Pessimism ruled my life, and I cannot remember when this was not true.

I wanted to walk on the sunny side of life. Yet, doing so did not compute in my head.

Negativity is a rite of passage and a gift when we reach that age where we “put away childish things.” Every youth must learn his dad is not the toughest and smartest and that deception lurks behind every gesture and look. These realities are first introduced and internalized around puberty.

Negativity was self-evident to me. It still is, actually. The proof is so indisputable I have never felt compelled to consider the pros and cons. Anyone who said otherwise was dismissed as deluded. So, pessimism did not require deep analysis or debate, just like we do not need to argue the fact that water is wet.

Good intentions rarely work to the benefit of the practitioner. Voices of reason also tend to be the lowest in volume, while we more readily hear those that offer counsel without forethought and regard for others. Life is not fair, and on and on I could go.

For a very long time, I did not understand the possibility of being abnormally negative. It was just “how things are.” Eventually, I began to notice, and others spoke up and informed me, that my outlook was not the average one and that other philosophies of life existed.

Many situations and people presented the probability that viewing the glass as half-empty was counter-productive. In fact, mental health professionals urge that pessimism causes misery and the worsening of various diseases and disorders. So, taking these voices seriously, I realized that it is more profitable and fulfilling to call that glass half-full.

I am very stubborn but do try to listen to testimony from people who know what they are talking about. So, I began to ponder the nature of life and the feasibility and usefulness of drawing up a new thesis. It turns out, recognizing optimism as a good thing is the easy part. Applying the principle in the daily struggle of life is so much harder.

Assuming the worst evidently causes bad things to happen more often. People from every walk of life have said this so many times and in so many ways. Is this maxim even in doubt, at all? It seems like the answer is no, dear reader.

On the flip side of the above point of view, thinking positively causes the dominoes to fall in one’s favor. Every self-helping declaration says so. However, I had one of those rock-and-a-hard-place situations, for so long, that defeated my plans of being more optimistic.

For a long time, I could not see this world with hopeful eyes. It does not ring true, and I was unable to force this opinion on myself. To be more successful in life I must be optimistic, but to do so meant living a lie.

Amid this state of affairs, the choice was to be positive and deceptive or pessimistic and a sufferer of poor mental health — all while never achieving those things that might cause contentment.

There was no way to dislodge that rock and climb out of the mire. It was exhausting and exasperating to live under these dark clouds.

My tendency toward overthinking finally paid off and caused a good thing to happen, however.

Once we realize the unquestionable aptitude of people to do bad things, we can begin to recognize their humanity. Since lying and cheating is common to all, every culture, race, and religion exists on the same spectrum.

This is my way of saying human beings have the will to choose to be either part of the problem or the solution. This may not seem that revelatory, but it is a significant thing for me.

We are born into a competition called life. At least, that is what we are taught and what is observable as true. People respond to being thrown into the fire, over and over, by mimicking what others have done to survive and thrive.

Unfortunately, humans do not always contemplate the nature of their actions. Maybe pondering what we are doing is just too hard. Also, unlike I preferred to believe, most humans do not live by strict codes of conduct.

If people can choose the path of lying, cheating, and insincerity, then they also possess the power to turn toward the light — just like in Star Wars. Are we too overburdened by the daily grind to stop, turnaround, and walk in the other direction?

This may be true, but I am not sure. I am convinced, however, that teachers of every kind must supply people with more choices and open their minds. This was the missing puzzle piece that allowed optimism to register in my mind as a realistic point of view.

Living with the knowledge of the depravity of mankind is a rational thing. It is accurate. It was a prerequisite for me to ever gain ground on the goal of optimism.

I hope others find this information useful. Pessimism and optimism are parts of our mental health. They are not abstract concepts to put off and relegate to occasional late-night conversations. Your state of mind is your mind, and that is mental health.

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