The Garbage List

Dump the trash that holds you back

Oct 22, 2024

You may or may not realize how many of your wounds are self-inflicted. Most likely, you play some part in your defeats along with a few other factors that contribute. Below are common statements we think or say that get in the way of our potential. Do any of these resonate with you?

If people knew about this, no one would respect me.
If people knew about this, no one would love me.
It seems like the world is against me.
I could tell they were thinking negative things about me.
I will never like these changes. I only understand the old way.
If I had only prepared a little more, the interview/test/presentation/date would have turned out better.
He should have known what I wanted.
I am so embarrassed; I cannot go back there.
I am not book smart.
I don’t have faith in anything.
I don’t belong anywhere.
If only _________, I would be happy.
I wonder what they really think of me?
I was wrong, so I guess I’m stupid.
I was supposed to be successful by this age.
I should have seen that coming.
My life revolved around him/her/it, and now my life is over.
If they/he/she are gaining, then I must be losing.
I don’t have her/his energy, so I must be lazy.
If only they thought like I do, then everything would be fine.
I need more control for life to turn out like I want it.
She did not seem interested, so she must hate me.
He had to say that, but that is not really what he thinks about me.
I’m not good enough.
I only got lucky.
As soon as I walked in, I could tell what everyone was thinking.
That shouldn’t have happened.
Compared to her/him, I am such a failure.
Nothing ever turns out right for me.
It’s too late for me.

I often encourage all who can hear me that mental health is not merely a series of diseases and disorders that mysteriously appear (I know this is not how it works, btw) in our brains. Mental health is an assessment of that thing we call the “mind” that is really just a measure of who you are and how you feel.

It could be argued we are what we repeatedly tell ourselves. The unhelpful statements above belong on the “garbage list.” They are things to throw away. I am aware that this is a difficult project, but banning these thoughts from our mind is very much possible.

The hard part is they seem so ingrained in who we are that removing the garbage list can feel almost like cutting off parts of the body. To be clear, it depends on the person as to what is difficult and what is not.

With addiction, everyone agrees that step 1 is realizing that there is a problem, and that logic applies here as well. Identify your garbage statements. Often, writing them down helps.

Then, there is another obstacle we face. Some garbage statements contain truth, but they belong in the trash anyway. They are not helpful. If you are like me, and let’s pray that you’re not, the negative holds more weight than the positive. Your mind grabs that negative interpretation of your life almost every time that it has a choice.

Two opposite things can both be true. Your mind is biased due to an array of influences that might include trauma, learned behavior, your DNA, negative environments, and probably more.

You need to treat yourself better. Start by thinking and then writing down what goes in the garbage. Then, you will begin to practice eliminating them when they arise.

Success begins with your thoughts. So, this is a good list to remember and then forget. Which statements are pitfalls for you, and what did I leave off that I should have included?