There are proverbs we know, have heard too many times to our liking, and assume are mostly true. I think we imagine a man with a long white beard said them long ago over a fire, while drinking tea, or while smoking a pipe. Martial arts might have been involved.
I was taught to question everything, which can be very annoying. Here, I hope I am not. My aim is to criticize common proverbs. Some of them are easy, because only a second thought begins their unraveling. Others take more time and deeper inspection. You may disagree, and that is always fine with me.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
I like words. This proverb has never sat comfortably in my awareness whenever it has been uttered. There are certain things I know I disagree with, but I often am not sure why.
Crafting words is harder than doing something we normally call an action. You might believe that this is not true, and it is the other way around. When we respond to something with words, with little care as to what they are, that is a reaction. Thus, what we are talking about is actually something you do more than a thing that is spoken.
Most actions can be compared to mimicry. Human beings are acting most of the time, in my opinion. Words too often are devalued and underestimated. Words leak out here and there that actually reveal more of the inner workings of people. Also, that saying (not a proverb) that goes “words will never hurt me,” is wrong.
Words are powerful. They are more likely to be something new and honest compared to actions. So, this proverb is false.
You Reap What You Sow
I am not sure if this is even debatable, but who knows. I get the meaning of it, and like that idea that people get what they deserve. Or, well…I just second-guessed myself. It is unnerving to believe that every mistake of mine would return to me as a punishment.
But, I do not want to dwell on that.
Just living in this world is enough to prove to me that people do not get what they deserve. Nice people finish last all the time. You will find human beings who live in a helpful way all up and down the ladder of success. Good works does not guarantee even a thank you.
I could only mention politics, and I had rather not, to provide examples of the shady, criminal, shameless, selfish, and underserving rising to the top. The best people rarely become the most powerful ones.
Actually, thinkers have wondered from the beginning of written language why bad things happen to good people. It is the subject of many myths and stories. That question may never be answered in a way that makes us sleep better.
Honesty is the Best Policy
I disagree. Ricky Gervais made a movie called The Invention of Lying that puts this issue to rest. Honesty is boring and does not serve all the needs of mankind.
Though, in one sense I believe in this proverb. One should live honestly, which means to have an authentic soul not swayed by every popular opinion and the pressures of conformity. One should feel pleased with his or her moral aptitude, and I think that must come from feeling honest.
Also, I think it is alright to lie when doing so makes everything better. I am not a fashion expert and could not say with certainty if that shirt, or dress, or jeans look good on you or not. People should feel better about themselves these days, and judging someone’s fatness is a subjective thing. Even if it is not, I pledge to encourage people more than discourage them due to some silly oath of honesty.
All’s Well That Ends Well
Nope.
This is tempting, I must admit. As someone who values peace and harmony, there is lots I am willing to overlook to arrive at a place that is quiet and somewhat contented. Compromise is not a problem for me, either. Although, evaluating proverbs is not all about me.
People tend not to embrace the “end” of an endeavor of whatever kind, equally. They interpret results in strange ways that cannot be fully anticipated. Each person has a mind of their own, as they say.
Human interactions are not like corporate agreements or business contracts. Humanity is messy and unpredictable. I am arguing that it is not possible to know what “well” means to various people involved in any process of some complexity. Some folks keep their feelings hidden. What seemingly ends well might have unknowingly heated up some other problem down the line.
Practice Makes Perfect
This lesson was learned the hard way. Many years ago, I dreamed of being a great guitarist on the level of one of my heroes: B.B. King. I literally believed that practice would lead to perfecting my craft. So, I thought: “if I work really hard every day, then I will become great. It must work that way.”
Yet, it does not. The greats of music or of any pursuit worthy of our passions, possess specialness that cannot be acquired. It does not matter what the feel-good slogans, or proverbs, command us to believe.
I have also found that too much practice can make something un-perfect. There is a point one reaches where doing more will begin to erode your skills. It is true.
More does not equal better. Another, better proverb now enters my mind: work smarter not harder.
One has to walk away from practicing sometimes, in order to recharge. If not, we are just mindlessly repeating something and not working toward getting better at it.
Wherever You Go, There You Are
For the last one, let’s affirm instead of nullify. This proverb is a favorite of mine. It is without any ambiguity, in my point of view.
Running away from problems is common and might be evolutionary. It is a temptation I bet every single person has felt. Some problems are so complicated or deflating that we want a completely new start.
Well, that is fine. However, most people do not want to do the hard work of personal transformation. So, we often leave one place to go to another with the hope of stranding the old problems in some other town, state, or country.
That will never work. This is only playing pretend. Without some kind of inner change, there is nowhere to hide from ourselves. I guess running away is a kind of denial that might work for a little while, but will never mend our broken parts.
Well, that is probably enough for now. What do you think about proverbs we take for granted? Are there some you had rather talk about not listed here? Certainly, there seems like a million of them. Let me know in the comments.