The Rules of Life
Commentary and rules for a better perspective
I submit that humanity does not understand itself very well. Has it been a problem? Yes, that is the understatement of all time.
Think back to your test-taking days, and you can just use your common sense, as well. A student arrives at the classroom to take a test without comprehending most of the material the test covers. We would not expect him to do well at all. Most likely, this student would fail.
Then why would anyone anticipate society functioning at a high level, when the characters that compose and operate society are ignorant to each other’s wants, needs, and motivations? It is logical to think we would live in a state of constant malfunction.
I am guessing most of you have worked in some environment with rules. If so, you at some point understood that there were official rules and then those that actually matter.
There is reality and practical reality at every workplace. Here are some examples. One must arrive on time right at 9:00, but no one takes that seriously except on Thursdays. One must park here and never there, but there is fine as long as you don’t leave your car in the spaces reserved for the manager or assistant manager. Do not bring food into your office, but everyone does unless Lars is there that day.
No one likes Lars.
So life is not exactly like that but is in the same ballpark. The hours wasted on nonsense should be spent on self-discovery and reaching for our potential.
For many of us, a lack of energy becomes a problem. Our reserves are depleted warring with the phony rules and not the real ones. So, when anything “real” enters our lives, we are too tired or distracted. Perhaps we do not notice when greatness appears.
I believe the average person regularly avoids enticements toward the extraordinary. But, I am not casting aspersions here. As I said, we are filled to overflowing with unimportant concerns. Enlightenment sometimes comes late in life and for many never arrives at all.
Finally, I admitted to myself how little interest I have in so much of what I see and hear. This epiphany took forever because of my training to abide by all the rules as if they are each equal.
Most conversations are boring. More than this, however, I have no interest in the state of someone’s yard, what the neighbors have going on, most interior and exterior home decor, color schemes, anyone’s boat, your cousin’s new job, the minutiae of anyone’s boring job, someone’s unoriginal thoughts on world events, the wedding of anyone not very close to me, celebrity whatever, and much more.
We are instructed that we must listen and be polite to others. The polite part I agree with.
How much time do we allow to pass barely listening and going through the motions? What we hear we will not remember, and what we remember will have no effect on our lives.
Radical indifference is all about creating terms of engagement. I am talking about what I, or you, will and will not accept.
Perhaps the hard part is that we must express our terms to other people. Otherwise, they will not understand. We cannot trust most people to “pick up on” our signals.
If you are compassionate, then needy people will seek you out all the time. We have to put limitations on other people.
There are a few reasons why the unfortunate people monopolize the time of the empathetic (or just good listeners) among us. Some people have low emotional intelligence and cannot deduce when someone wants to be left alone. As well, some of us were trained to “wear a mask” of pleasantness at all times that hides how we really feel.
Well, the best thing I can offer right now are some rules of life. These are not all the rules, and I cannot claim these are the most crucial ones either. It would take a long time to sort and edit any definitive list like that. These are good. Check them out.
Rules of Life
Every professional situation is also personal. Others will always like or dislike you no matter the stated principles of a job or anything else. Like or dislike is part of every decision that is made.
Calculate how much time you spend waiting for something to happen rather than living for the present moment. You may need to change the ratio.
Don’t “go over someone’s head” to report something or insinuate some grievance. Simply put, do not talk to someone’s superior about them in a manner that can be construed as negative unless there are no other alternatives.
Offer praise publicly and criticism privately.
Realize that anyone who is talking about someone else in front of you gossips about you in front of someone else.
In 9/10 cases, buy the generic brand instead of the costlier one. This will always be better except for your favorite product where you can taste the difference.
Be proud of where you came from even if your experience was terrible. Your origins define you to some extent, and you are a good person despite your feelings toward that place.
Try that food that you think you don’t like but make sure it is the best or most natural version of that particular thing. This will be that food that everyone else tells you is really good.
Social media is a tool and not a lifestyle. The more social media-oriented a person becomes the more he lives disingenuously.
Go to bed at an early hour and wake up early, as well. This is almost always the best approach to life no matter who you are and what you are trying to accomplish.
Use “in my opinion,” or “this is how I see it,” or something similar when you critique anything about a person. This releases the focus on the faults of someone else and emphasizes a commitment, whether true or not, to a shared mission.
Create tiers (and write them down) of important people in your life, like a ranking system. Every day focus on the top tier and mostly ignore those who do not add anything positive to your life.
To be more of a man, or more of a woman, you should not seek to increase your “manliness” or “femininity.” We are all variations of both at the same time. Be yourself.
One of the most valued and useful talents one can have is the ability to solve problems quietly, by yourself, without consulting many or any others. People in power will notice this quality in you, eventually.
Seek to be near and part of meaningful activities and infuse possible meanings into those projects and situations that appear dull and pointless. You can do it.
Create an overarching, grand purpose of your life that you work toward every day in many small ways. Having only a big-picture purpose will cause you to lose faith in it, and making only small, insignificant daily goals will cause you to feel purposeless. You need both to succeed.
There is one kind of popularity, and only one, that you should consider as valid. Ensure that your words and actions are consistent and that you are not backtracking after your opinion is expressed. Yes, this brings a type of popularity that actually matters.
Watch your words around strangers you worry are not on your side. They are spying on you despite anything they do or say. They are gathering intelligence to use against you.
Do not try to solve everyone’s problems. Focus on yourself. By doing so, you will learn more about other people and all the ways of the world. It somehow works.
There is usually a polite choice to be made even in the most tumultuous and anger-charged situations.
Well, these are a great start. Remember to lock in on the things that are consequential in your life, no matter how often people drag you down into the world of petty concerns. If you start with this list, you will add more and tailor it to your individuality.
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Thoughtful, wise words! Thanks for your generosity ♥️💫