Rudeness is all around you every day. I bet you can find it in under five minutes, right now, if you tried.
We vastly underestimate how rude this world is. I mean on a regular basis in all the little exchanges people make, and not just the obvious examples everyone can see.
This story is written with a few similar groups especially in mind: the highly-sensitives, the neuro-divergent, and the intuitive introverts. There is lots of overlap between these three, because being one makes it more likely to be one or both of the others.
Dear reader, if you find that you do not qualify, please realize that it is possible this is for you too. I cannot say, not knowing you and all…
I want to invent a term for all those I mentioned who tend to be treated with disrespect more often than they realize. Let’s refer to them as: the heartsick. They feel things so powerfully as to perpetually imperil their emotions.
I am one, and I believe my term heartsick is justified, because we can see the folly in living calloused and closed-off to the pursuit of authentic and meaningful experiences. We must sometimes do things that are “abnormal,” like howl at the moon, or cry at a commercial, due to inner drives probably not understood.
We live with a burden of knowing there exists a higher consciousness, and that most people appear indifferent about it. Most are careless and living based on the borrowings of generations of the conformed and beaten-down majority.
As the heartsick, we put up with more nonsense, gossip, and most of all: rudeness. Sometimes I feel like doing this from the great Lonesome Dove as an answer to “rude behavior in a man.”
I have a broader understanding of how people can be rude, compared to the average chap. It might be because I sense how people feel, as the heartsick tend to do.
For gas-lighters, narcissists, and the plain old mean, we are the easiest prey. Narcissists will test every person they encounter as to their boundaries. Or to put it more directly, they will gauge what an individual is willing to give up in order to maintain a peaceful environment.
We almost always strive to prevent drama by preempting it — before it gets out of hand. The heartsick choose quiet tranquility over almost anything else, and the narcissists know this. They are like dark-side users of the Force.
We are the light-side good guys, best friends with Yoda and such, but we are weak in recognizing all the ways we get fooled and treated disrespectfully. Some of you out there will think about that time in your life when: it took weeks, months, or even more to fully comprehend how that guy mistreated you that time. Readers, you also know what I mean by: “I wish I had thought about this gratifying comeback to say, at the time, instead of folding like an accordion.”
It is extremely rude to disregard someone’s boundaries, and it ought to be a crime when a bully systematically breaks down another’s defenses due to his or her good nature.
Dark-siders will foist surprises upon the heartsick in the form of unwanted favors. They might volunteer to wash your car, pay for a small meal, lend you laundry detergent, or offer other gestures of little importance.
This is rude. Why? Troublemaking manipulators give away insignificant things and kind of “force” them on people, in order to demand a larger favor later. They love to say, “oh, but remember that time…”
I can guarantee that what is asked in return will be shady somehow, involving way more risk than whatever the manipulator did for the other person.
When we get overloaded with life’s burdens, this is not the time for someone to ask more of us than we can give. This happens quite often.
Have you ever known a meddling reprobate who has no sensitivity whatsoever, and will request someone to do anything at any time? It is rude when human beings impose on us when our hands are full and our minds are fragile. Again, the heartsick are chosen as the victims, because some of us hate to say no.
In fact, many of the heartsick are willing to attempt miracles for others lest they be considered a “bad person” or “bad friend.”
We are the people who think about our decisions and test whether our conduct is aligned with our beliefs. Also, we are empathetic and can put ourselves in the place of another who needs help.
I will tell you a secret: most human beings are not like that. Oh, they might have empathy, but they have far less of it compared to the desire to get their way. Most people have control issues, as well.
People have all sorts of problems, as we all are aware, but some choose to dump them on others. Yes, it is rude indeed when a good-hearted person must listen to someone’s petty complaints all the time.
Scenarios take place where people become something akin to a landfill for others to take all their worries and dispose of them. Once is not that offensive, but it will start to happen over and over to the sensitive and empathetic.
Then there are the interrupters. If we are perceived as “nice,” and likely to be peacekeepers in any social situations, then the insensitive types will constantly talk over us. That really burns me up inside when it happens.
What is more precious than time? Nothing, methinks. That is why we must not let the bullies, manipulators, the dark-siders, or whatever words you favor to call them, misuse our time.
Since changing for the better and realizing so many life lessons for the first time, I guard my time like a pit bull. It must be this way, because some things in life can never be recouped once stolen.
To waste my time by being unprepared, lazy, or whatever else, is to treat me rudely. It shows you do not respect me, and you might as well speak it out loud that: “my time is more important than yours.”
Again, the heartsick suffer because of our gentle natures. Ah, but we are not doormats, and every person will eventually be driven to their limits.
If we allow others to consistently insult us, then we are being rude to ourselves. The following might happen, once we let someone know our displeasure. We might hear something close to: “why are you so upset, it was just a little thing?”
That is a lie. Manipulating people knowingly crosses lines they believe the heartsick will feel ashamed to fuss over. If someone protests, then they have a built-in defense.
I have realized the hard way, that highly sensitives must not allow strengths to turn into weaknesses. Do not feel ashamed in the slightest for calling out offenders who devalue your time or anything else someone judged as unimportant.
These are not accidents that just happen, as I believe some of us are selected from the rest as gentle, easygoing targets who are unlikely to fight back. But, that is exactly what we must do.
Oh, defend yourself with grace and dignity instead of malice, which is probably the instinct of the heartsick, anyway.
Sometimes I still hear from that undead inner voice that tells me I probably deserve to be treated poorly. Yet, he is wrong.
Most likely, if you are a member of the heartsick than you have performed way more courteous and giving acts of kindness than you have made mistakes. Therefore, do not remain silent when faced with rude behavior.
Sometimes, peacekeeping is not what life requires. Speak up for yourself and realize your greatness. As I have said before, and I invented this as far as I know: it is better to be conceited than deleted. Our mental health depends on it.