The Overlooked Best Part of Christmas

A walk around the mall and memory lane

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It does not take this writer to inform you, dear reader, that methods of shopping for consumer products have radically changed in my lifetime. Over twenty plus years of the Internet, where and how we choose stuff to buy has been transformed.

There has been what is lost but then that we can say has enhanced the shopping paradigm. Some of what I will discuss with you is unsurprising, but there is a perspective here that, to me, is undervalued and rarely highlighted. So, hopefully you will discover my words here as relaying something of significance.

What you think about the sentences to follow will conceivably depend on how great or little you value shopping. You probably find yourself where we almost always do: somewhere in the middle. Plenty of folks liken shopping to a necessary evil. Some look at it as a professional duty; an unavoidable fee to be paid toward membership into the club of decent human beings.

On the other hand, plenty of us have some measure of respect for shopping. I am putting my mom in this category, and in what is an unanticipated revelation, I belong here, as well. The reason for my inclusion though owes to my ongoing quest to identify, reclaim, and proclaim the heart and soul of life.

The Christmas season inspired me to ponder what the holiday is to our culture and what it means to me. There are the rock-solid traditions most perform that we all know, as in opening presents, eating lots of food, and gathering around a real or fake tree. In your head, dear reader, you might be surveying whatever unique traditions you hold dear, begrudgingly perform, or have thankfully abandoned.

In my thoughts, the word itself and the imagery of shopping quickly followed behind the letters that formed Christmas. So, I mean that the purchasing of things came before Santa Claus, trees, stockings, office parties, eating, and even opening presents. Then, pondering a bit more, it began to make sense.

First, this is not one of those chastisements about commerciality ruining Christmas. I have no interest in those tired declarations. Instead, I want to emphasize an entirely different view.

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I believe shopping to be the most representative and shared engagement of the holidays, considering all the sights, sounds, and activities included as part of our end-of-the-year, repeated observances. Or, in more direct language, shopping makes Christmas what it is more than any other thing.

That is not a criticism. It does not make the holidays less than your opinion of them as it already stands. To me, shopping as the “true meaning” of Christmas is not a thing to regret. We should not sigh in resignation.

Shopping lasts longer than other activities, and that is a reality fairly important to accept. I know some people who begin looking for gifts many months before Santa Claus comes to town. With shipping involved, we better take an early-bird approach to the season of giving. Increasingly, the presents received on Christmas morning enter our lives by way of China or another country.

The flow of people leaving the “brick and mortar” business of shopping in the rearview and embracing online buying grows stronger every year. Black Friday feels a lot like just a regular Friday. There is cyber-Monday, and who-knows-what on Tuesday, so it is more than a little confusing. Whatever the day of the week, the reckless rush into stores, and the instances of hand-to-hand, Christmas combat, are far less ordinary than ten years ago.

Both that scene and the mental picture of setting behind a computer fail to illustrate the Christmas experience of my formative years. It was simply not like that for me, and so many others can assert the same. As for Christmas shopping, my reflections are set in the 1980s and then a few years after that.

This was the era when the mall reigned supreme, and one had to actually enter its living and breathing space to make transactions. Each mall complex had its own personality and culture. There were the upscale ones and every other kind down the ladder. A diverse food court can set the atmosphere for a positive or not-so-great day, I find. I should refrain from further analysis on this point, because critiquing malls could be a topic on its own.

The memories that count are the long hours spent with my mom and sister, and sometimes other family members, perusing the storefronts, deciding which ones to enter, scanning the merchandise, and maybe even buying something. Yet, as I hinted at earlier, it is not the buying or giving but the shopping that now brings a certain fondness.

In short, my brain has romanticized looking for Christmas gifts in real buildings with walls, ceilings, and floors. Romanticized is the right word to use, because it is easy to forget the headaches, crowds, parking, and physical fatigue. In my life, Christmas shopping took all day.

It is exactly all that I wish to go back to and cherish. Communication must take place there among the mall’s battlefields. There was subterfuge in the form of hiding gifts from one another. Certainly, price-checking similar items as to land upon the best deal, went on unquestioned.

Then, the all-important decision must be agreed upon as to where to eat. We always went to this extremely popular mall in Mississippi. The best restaurants resided just outside the mall itself but still within its periphery. Fun was had.

Getting to the heart and soul of the celebratory season, for me, does not mean the usual music and movies. Instead, I find it in the story I have internally of the search for gifts that entailed good times that were underappreciated while enduring them. The people matter most of all.

In case you were thinking it, dear reader, I am not oblivious to the fact that people still shop in person. Malls still exist, yes. K-Mart does not, unfortunately, as it once occupied one end of that mall of my youth.

To be as straightforward as my current state of mind allows, Christmas shopping was a ritual. It meant rising early and preparing for a long day, with every participant traveling to, mostly, a predetermined set of stores. We gathered back together to eat, and that was not always easily done. For the final walk down and around the mall, when most purchases were made, we were all together. Then, there is a tired but grateful ride home.

Christmas day is always disappointing. Nothing received can measure up to the treasures of the imagination. The potential goodies are superior to those items revealed when the tearing of paper commences, and then the best part is over. Christmas shopping is better than receiving gifts, because once a thing is wrapped and opened the magic of what could be is converted into the dismay of what-could-have-been. The looking for the perfect thing is not constrained by the reality of the imperfection.

So, the shopping ritual is the most essential part of Christmas. For me, the dynamics of the situation cannot be reconstituted in the present. The circumstances that are most special in life are the most likely to never appear again. That is true for all that I have detailed here, but things remembered can still enliven the spirit.

More thought is funneled toward deciding who-gets-what than is spent on any other part of the holidays. I find no inconsistency, no issue to burden my conscience, by affectionally recalling human beings exchanging dollars for memories. Many people would surrender all they have to return to that certain place and time.

Rituals cannot be underestimated. There is so much evidence for the relevance of these, it does not need any further comments from your author. Online shopping is very convenient, and one can, of course, browse and put stuff into carts. It is okay but will always lack the heart of what used-to-be.

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Happy Holidays. Or Happy making it this far, another year, and whatever you do and whoever you are. If you are struggling, remember “happy holidays” is only a suggestion and is not a law. You might feel differently. If you are looking to increase contentment in your life, the story below will give you great ideas.