Strawbridge, your Kundera quote is, in many ways, quite menacing. Your piece makes us readers what we seek, and what it means to seek what we call freedom, yet get doomed to realize that we land in the space of loneliness. For some of us, me included, I am quite comfortable being in my own company. I know many others are not. I, rarely, feel lonely. When I seek freedom, I am allowing myself to reflect in peace.
What is very interesting, is that when I want to unload my stresses and issues to a friend, and the friend immediately begins to comment and expound on their similar experiences, I want to be alone. Sometimes I just want the ears, and not the mouth and vocal cords.
As a male, my default when hurt, disappointed, shamed, or such, is to go away and be alone. Not free; alone.
Hi Benn. I get that. Sometimes I only want someone to listen. That's all. That is the best form of counseling at that time. Men tend to be lonelier I think, for the reason you mention. We are taught to go at our problems alone. Or at least, when we feel emotional, we are to go take care of it then come back "normal" again. I agree with you that solitude can be great. You are a thinking person and that requires some time apart. That solitude is itself freedom and is not the same as lonely, in my opinion. I hope this time of year finds you well and you have a great time.
Well thank you. I guess everyone struggles sometimes. I rely on a support system, and I stay mindful of my mental health. I hope you are good as well. I think the fact that I remain curious about my interests and write about them is a good sign.
“There is discomfort in freedom, so we can assume planned limitations offers the opposite.” Love this line. How many people take the path of least resistance because it was modeled by some family member(s)?
George Orwell, in Down and Out in Paris and London, describes his early years of poverty living in those cities. The most striking insight was that poverty is, above all, boring. With no money, and thus nothing to do but whatever one could do for free, you get to walk around or sit around a lot. Buying new books was out, as was going to the movies, and TV wasn’t in existence.
Poverty meant absolute freedom to do what you want each day, and no means to change what you did each day. Thus boredom. Tedium. Orwell would have — and later did — trade some of that freedom for a vocation that paid the bills. Trading some freedom can be a good thing.
This is such a good observation. Thanks. These are the kind of conversations I hoped to inspire. It makes me think of people who live alternative lifestyles, moving around freely with no attachments. Old fashioned rail riders. Are they free or homeless? The word we use makes a huge difference. Boredom is a very interesting element to add to the mix. In the mental health world there is a point of view that idleness is the enemy of good health.
Thanks so much for your thoughts here. I really don’t know how many people can connect with clannish behavior, because we’d rather think we are too modern for such things. We are not. I went through something like that with in laws. They were from a different culture within the US. These are people you are around a lot in many cases, so following a path of conformity or freedom really matters in our lives. Choices have to be made regarding freedom. Well, I’m not married. I’m thankful, but loneliness is something I know about.
Strawbridge, your Kundera quote is, in many ways, quite menacing. Your piece makes us readers what we seek, and what it means to seek what we call freedom, yet get doomed to realize that we land in the space of loneliness. For some of us, me included, I am quite comfortable being in my own company. I know many others are not. I, rarely, feel lonely. When I seek freedom, I am allowing myself to reflect in peace.
What is very interesting, is that when I want to unload my stresses and issues to a friend, and the friend immediately begins to comment and expound on their similar experiences, I want to be alone. Sometimes I just want the ears, and not the mouth and vocal cords.
As a male, my default when hurt, disappointed, shamed, or such, is to go away and be alone. Not free; alone.
Hi Benn. I get that. Sometimes I only want someone to listen. That's all. That is the best form of counseling at that time. Men tend to be lonelier I think, for the reason you mention. We are taught to go at our problems alone. Or at least, when we feel emotional, we are to go take care of it then come back "normal" again. I agree with you that solitude can be great. You are a thinking person and that requires some time apart. That solitude is itself freedom and is not the same as lonely, in my opinion. I hope this time of year finds you well and you have a great time.
Best,
Strawbridge
Such a great post!
Thank you so much. I am so glad you liked it. 😊
Always love reading your work. How are you now? Hope everything is good!
Well thank you. I guess everyone struggles sometimes. I rely on a support system, and I stay mindful of my mental health. I hope you are good as well. I think the fact that I remain curious about my interests and write about them is a good sign.
That's great!
“There is discomfort in freedom, so we can assume planned limitations offers the opposite.” Love this line. How many people take the path of least resistance because it was modeled by some family member(s)?
I am so glad you took something meaningful from the story. Well, I do not know the number except that it is very high. Freedom is scary too.
George Orwell, in Down and Out in Paris and London, describes his early years of poverty living in those cities. The most striking insight was that poverty is, above all, boring. With no money, and thus nothing to do but whatever one could do for free, you get to walk around or sit around a lot. Buying new books was out, as was going to the movies, and TV wasn’t in existence.
Poverty meant absolute freedom to do what you want each day, and no means to change what you did each day. Thus boredom. Tedium. Orwell would have — and later did — trade some of that freedom for a vocation that paid the bills. Trading some freedom can be a good thing.
This is such a good observation. Thanks. These are the kind of conversations I hoped to inspire. It makes me think of people who live alternative lifestyles, moving around freely with no attachments. Old fashioned rail riders. Are they free or homeless? The word we use makes a huge difference. Boredom is a very interesting element to add to the mix. In the mental health world there is a point of view that idleness is the enemy of good health.
Thanks so much for your thoughts here. I really don’t know how many people can connect with clannish behavior, because we’d rather think we are too modern for such things. We are not. I went through something like that with in laws. They were from a different culture within the US. These are people you are around a lot in many cases, so following a path of conformity or freedom really matters in our lives. Choices have to be made regarding freedom. Well, I’m not married. I’m thankful, but loneliness is something I know about.
So I agree with you and understand.